5 Low-Key Signs They're Not Over Their Ex (According to a Breakup Coach)
So, you just started dating someone great, but, you have a feeling that maybe they’re not over their ex.
You think you sense/see/feel some signs, but let’s find out for sure.
As a conscious breakup coach, I’m dishing it out today so let’s dive right in!
They speak poorly about their ex consistently. Sometimes they might believe they’re over their ex, but this is a sign that they haven’t resolved the turmoil in their last relationship, which will impact you if they don’t start doing inner work to resolve that. Yes, they are welcome to share what happened in their last relationship but if it’s coming up regularly (key word here) and you find you’re sharing space with their ex’s ghost of the past, that’s not an ideal start to a relationship. Right?
They often complement you followed by a weird comparison of their ex. It’s one thing to say “I love spending time with you going out and trying new things” but if they say “you’re so much more fun to do things with; my ex was alwaysssss so lazy and never did anything” and then you feel a peculiar energy shift in the air that feels heavy on their end, that’s something to look at. The same thing could be said, but with that energy shift, that’s the sign you’re looking for as a red flag they might not be over their ex.
You can tell they’re hiding their calls from you. I once dated someone who flat-out told me they were over their ex and not talking, but I’d see her calling. And I once saw on his recent calls with her name on it. Pro tip: there’s seldom a reason to hide calls unless they're planning your surprise party.
You find you’re playing therapist a bit too much. I get it—we all have baggage. But when your relationship starts to look like a client-therapist relationship where you’re listening to them in hopes that you’re healing them, well—you’re getting the short end of the stick there. I have been in this position one too many times and needed to do the work to figure out why I kept attracting guys who used me as a sounding board and often weren’t over their ex. (Need help with that? You’ll DEFINITELY want to book a manifesting deep dive with me here.)
You can sense an energy. Intuition doesn’t lie. You feel something is up—listen.
There are a lot of different signs that may be popping up for you right now, but the important thing is that you don’t ignore what you feel. Intuition is incredibly powerful and often the only source of “evidence” that you need.
You would NOT be reading this if you were busy in a comfortable, safe relationship full of blissful security.
Remember this: you know when you feel emotionally safe in a relationship, and if you’re getting the HEEBEE JEEBEES about this person—don’t brush it off.
Have the conversation. Be discerning. Don’t let your fear stop you from getting honest.
xo
Nancy
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