The Most Important Things to Hear After a Breakup
Today I feel like sharing the big things you need to hear right now.
Well, Nancy, how DO you know what I need to hear during my breakup?
Well, for starters, these things are what my clients want to know during our deep dive sessions together.
I know breakups can feel completely lonely and like your friends don’t understand what you’re going through (even though they’ve ALL been through them but for whatever reason it feels like their brains got wiped clear of what is it really like after they’ve moved on from the pain), so I want to give you a coaching session right here—right now.
We all know you need all the support you can get!
So today, as your conscious breakup coach, I’m spilling the tea in hopes that you find just a bit of comfort in what I’m about to say and can go about your day with a little more peace.
Firstly, you’re NOT a bad person for this breakup. Okay, whether or not you instigated the breakup or requested space, or were totally blindsided from the breakup—let me say this loud and clear: you are NOT a bad person. You’re not a bad person for deciding to go your separate ways. You’re not a bad person for standing your ground and vocalizing what you needed if that’s what resulted in the breakup. You’re not a bad person making one of the hardest decisions of your life. You’re not a bad person for wanting your ex even when they wronged you. Speaking of which, this leads me to point #2. * DEEP BREATH *
You’re not CRAZY. I’m saying this because I know there’s a part of you that worries that you may have “misinterpreted” certain situations in your breakup. You worry you were gaslit, or worry you weren’t and it’s all a big miscommunication on your end. Let me tell you this: trust yourself on this one. Sometimes my clients come to me because they battle deeply with what their knowingness is saying, and what external information is being given. That is the worst battle of all because if we don’t learn to trust our guts, what can we fall back on? We’ll always worry we were wrong, or didn’t see the situation properly. With my clients I teach them to develop and trust their intuition after a breakup which is why I’m sharing this very important point right now.
There’s a spiritual element to this breakup. Ok, slight plot twist, but I know you were already kind of feeling this in some way. Sometimes we get sooo in our heads about the fears and worries that come with a breakup that we forget there’s something guiding us on this path and it’s our job to remember this and learn what this means for us. The more we get into alignment with the spiritual side of the tough stuff in life, the less is weighs on us and the more we can do with it and turn it into gold. Let the Universe guide you here. (More on this topic in my deep dive sessions if you’re curious)
This may not be your fault, but there is inner work to be done. As weird as it is to say, a lot of the clients who come see me have a growth mindset and want to know what their side of the breakup is. After all, relationships are always a two-way thing. They may have wronged you, but you may have chosen to keep staying or putting up with the behaviour (trust me—been there) and that’s where our work is done. But this is a good thing because every relationship and breakup is here to teach us about ourselves and what we want in a new relationship. It also helps us be more authentic and honest than we’ve ever been, which can seem more like a side effect of doing inner work.
Most of all, you will be MORE THAN okay. Let me be the FIRST person to tell you that you will, without a shadow of a doubt, be so much more than okay. Your breakup might feel like it’s breaking you, but it’s actually cracking you WIDE FREAKING OPEN. Why? To live a whole new, glorious way. To get outside of your shell. To expand and grow. To be the best version of yourself. But you had to go through this first.
Which I know, sounds like A LOT right now. But you were guided to read this for a reason, and you are receiving these words because something thought you needed to hear them.
I truly could talk to you about this for ages, because it’s the stuff that changed my life during my breakup and forever after, and ultimately what led to my fulfilling relationship to my husband.
For now, I hope this article spoke to you in every way you needed it to.
I love you so much,
xo Nancy
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If you’d like to get more support, please feel free for a deep dive session here.
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