My Best Self-Care Advice During a Breakup, According to a Breakup Coach

Self-care during a breakup is critical, and luckily, I’m a huge fan of taking time out to unplug, and showing others how they can incorporate it into their lives.

Why you need self-care during a breakup:

  • You’re going through one of the most turbulent times in your life and self-care helps you stay anchored when everything else seems out of control

  • You need to process your feelings without the noise of every-day life getting in your way

  • You need time to reconnect with yourself

Unfortunately, these days, self-care is one of those things we throw out the window when like get stressful. It’s not just a thing you do on the weekends, which is pretty much what most of us have been taught. (And let’s be honest, how many people actually rest on the weekend?)

Today I’m sharing 4 things you need to consider in order to help you put self-care into practice. I’ll share my personal tips, and what helps me to fully lean into my self-care practice.

My definition of self-care:

Making (not finding) time throughout my day to fully connect with myself no matter what length of time. You can have 2 minutes of complete peace, and that could be enough to recharge your soul’s battery.

What are the 4 areas to consider when doing self-care?

  • Emotional. Use self-care to connect with your emotions, and actually witness how you’re feeling. Instead of suppressing, avoiding, or distracting yourself (the usual coping styles during a breakup), you can use self-care to connect with how you’re truly feeling moment by moment

  • Mental. Use self-care to assess how you speak to yourself, and if you’re running a series of unhelpful thought patterns. Most of the time, we aren’t aware of the inner dialogue happening inside of our heads. Use self-care to observe your thoughts, and let them pass without making them mean something

  • Physical. Move your body; not just to release endorphins, and sweat out stress (yes those are great motivators) but because trauma is stored in the body. When you stretch and move your body, you actually use this as a way to release those attachments

  • Spiritual. You’re more than your psychology. When you feel down, and that the world is against you, use your self-care time to reconnect with your deeper purpose.


My favourites ways to self-care in 10 minutes or less:

  • Drink a delicious cup of coffee while staring out the window of my apartment. No phone. No music. Just the sounds of street traffic, and the warmth of the coffee mug in my hands

  • Meditate/deep breathe. You can do long inhalations and exhalations right where you are. No need to necessarily sit on the floor and cross your legs. Just sit back in your chair and observe your breath. Feel the cold air as you inhale, and the warmth as you exhale

  • Count 10 things you’re grateful for. Even if your world is crumbling now that your relationship has ended, remind yourself that you got up this morning, have a warm place to stay, and are one in 480 trillion (yes!) who made it to this planet. Even in our darkness moments, by reminding ourselves that there is light even in these times, can move you out of a difficult time

  • Recite loving affirmations to yourself. If you are missing the love you want in a partner, recite to yourself, “I love me for me,” or, “I am guided on my path” which are both powerful affirmations I return to whenever I feel myself slipping into my victim mentality. A lot of the time, I make up affirmations depending on how I’m feeling, and how I want to feel

Self care ideas for when you have a day where you’re not sure what to do:

  • Go for a nature walk. Take your shoes off in the grass and ground yourself in nature. Sometimes we get so in our heads that we forget we are beautiful creatures on this planet

  • Start manifesting what you want. Instead of getting stuck in the past, get excited about the future. Start a vision board, or call up a friend and talk to them about your future plans

  • Go to the grocery store and by loving ingredients to make yourself a delicious meal. Instead of getting take out (which I know you’ve been doing!), enjoy the preparation of a healthy meal and relax into the enjoyment of creating dinner

  • Take yourself to the bookstore. Pick out a book on self-help or relationships and read about what you’re going through. Grab a coffee and just hangout while getting curious (this is my go-to!)

  • Consider hiring a breakup coach. Shameless plug here; I didn’t start doing sessions with a coach until day 365 in my breakup. Honestly, I wished I had started from day 1. Get a coach you can connect with weekly so you have a safe space to share as each new week presents its latest challenges. Investing in yourself during your breakup, which for me, is the ultimate self care. Use your coach to release old limiting beliefs about relationships, and feel lighter in the process

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I hope you enjoyed these self-care tips during a breakup. Remind yourself that you are on the right path, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Process your feelings, and let the Universe take care of you.

And, if you need a breakup coach, book a session with me today.

FREE 18-PAGE SELF-CARE WORKBOOK FOR BREAKUPS HERE

 

Hey there, I’m Nancy! I’m a Conscious Breakup Coach dedicated to giving you conscious breakup advice during, well—one of the hardest times of your life. Let me know if this blog resonated for you by leaving a comment!

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