I know it’s daunting thinking about your first Valentine’s Day post-breakup; luckily, I’ve got your back.

As a breakup coach, and someone who’s had her fair share of breakups, I know it can be painful to watch everyone else celebrating while you’re, well—miserable.

This Valentine’s Day, it’s time to put yourself first, and I’ve got just the ways to do that. There’s something in here for everyone.

Alright, let’s dive in.

AT-HOME SPA AND SELF-CARE NIGHT

If you’re fresh out of a breakup, chances are you really don’t want to leave the house this Valentine’s Day. As such, I strongly suggest drawing the best bath (apparently the best bath temp is 90F-105F) and giving yourself some much needed TLC.

Turn it into a full spa experience with:

Your favourite drink in a fancy glass
A relaxing playlist (Spotify has so many “spa playlists)
Put your phone on silent so you don’t feel a pull to check your phone (and keep it in a different room)
Scented essential oils or bubble bath for an aromatic experience (I personally love Lavender)
A bath robe to wear right after

MOVIE MARATHON WITH FRIENDS

Whenever I’m feeling blue, or just feeling like I don’t want to leave the house, there’s a movie for every mood.

Host a movie night with friends this Valentine’s Day and avoid crowds and couples altogether. No sense in getting triggered today and spiralling into those obsessive thoughts.

If you want to take it to another level, feel free to watch the last 3 decades of horror movies. (Am I the only one who is still obsessed with them?)

MID-DAY SOLO DATE

If you still want to go out, but don’t want to be bombarded by all the couples everywhere, opt for a solo lunch date. Most couples are likely reserving the restaurants for the evening, so why not take today to treat yourself to that [insert luxury item] that you’ve been eyeing. (Just dooooo it!)

DONATE TO A WORTHY CAUSE

Don’t want to buy anything for yourself? Let me ask you this: how much would you have spent on your significant other for their gift and for the evening?

Use that money and give it to a worthy cause.

When we are having a tough time emotionally, we need to reach out and give to others who are in need.

Not only are you supporting an important cause, you will feel great, and also get a fresh perspective that might ease your heartache. I know this is certainly the case for me.

GET GUIDANCE AROUND LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Whether your relationship recently ended, or has been done for a while, it’s so important to get guidance amongst the noise. (You don’t need your Uncle Jim telling you that he’s been single for 40 years and it feels great, meanwhile you believe in relationships.)

Why not invest in talking to someone about your 2020 personal or relationship goals? Whether it’s a therapist, coach, or even a coffee date with a close mentor, use the time to reset, and set intentions for the year.

If you want to connect deeper on your breakup, book a consult with me here.

CREATE A VISION BOARD

When I left my last relationship, I was all about “creating my future” and vision boards became my best friend. They’re not just woo-woo; in fact, Oprah, Will Smith, Steve Harvey and Jim Carrey all believe in them, and have seen how much they truly work. (Why: because they keep you focused on your actual goals.)

So what’s a vision board, exactly? Well, it’s where you put images and words of things, experiences, and people you want in your life. It’s the ultimate manifesting tool. Try it!

Feel free to do this one during your movie marathon, or with friends. Use Canva or the old-fashioned way:

What you need to make a gorgeous vision board:

white glue (that dries clear)
old magazines (yikes they’re like $6+ these days!) to clip them
Bristol board
Scissors
printed photos from the internet
2-3 hours of uninterrupted time to get into flow
killer music/movie playlist

Please send me your Vision board to nancy@hellobreakup.com if you do decide to follow this! I’d love to see what you come up with!

OTHER TIPS TO REMEMBER WHILE GOING THROUGH A BREAKUP

Everyday is going to feel different, so embrace what emotions come through. Don’t let how tough yesterday was determine how today will be.
Give yourself permission to feel sad. The more you embrace the emotion, the sooner it’ll pass. (I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it will).
Try not to rush the process. I know you want to be done with the emotions, but they are serving a purpose. What that purpose is, well—that’s part of the process. You’re healing through this.
Be kind to yourself. I know you might be defaulting to thinking how you could have prevented the breakup, or where you could have been a “better” partner. The reality is that this is time for you to turn inward and deepen your compassion for yourself. When you place all this guilt and blame on yourself, you’re punishing yourself. Breakups don’t serve to punish us, but to teach us, and help us heal.
Know that you are progressing, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. If you have one good day, followed by a terrible day, you’re not regressing, as you might think. This is all part of the process. Process isn’t linear, and breakups are no exception to this rule.

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I hope these ideas speak to you this Valentine’s Day. I know how tough it is to get through your first Valentine’s Day solo, but remember why you’re doing this—for you. For your growth, development, and learning. You’ve got this more than you know. And I’ve got your back, too!

If you need support during your breakup, please reach out to me and let’s get through this together.