15 Reasons You Need a Breakup Coach in 2022
Okay, if you’re reading this because you’re going through a breakup, then you probably need a breakup coach.
I sure as hell needed one when I was going through mine, so that’s why I became one.
After working as a professional matchmaker for over 3.5 years and realizing most people I interviewed weren’t over their ex, yet they were trying to date anyway, it was time to take matters into my own hands and figure out how to bridge the gap between your last relationship and your next—but in a healthy, conscious way.
Enter me, your conscious breakup coach.
A spiritual and mindful way to heal through your heartbreak.
Now, it sounds a little cocky to say that I have 15 reasons to entice you to choose a breakup coach to help you, but the reality is that you always know what’s best for you. I’m just here to validate your desire to hire a coach. But stick around til the end because I have a bunch of free resources for you if you’re wanting to take baby steps.
Alright, here we go. Here’s why you need a conscious breakup coach:
Don’t just get over your ex—heal your relationship to yourself. People are always so blown away when I tell them that THE pillar of my coaching is that our breakups are meant to heal our relationships to ourselves. It’s so obvious, yet unspoken in most conversations around breakups. When we attract the “wrong” relationships, we experience a lot of self-betrayal, low self-esteem, and live in a state of feeling unworthy. Together we’ll work on changing the conversation by shifting your mindset to see that you are deserving of all the things you intuitively have in mind for yourself.
Ditch all the strategies to getting over an ex. Okay, I know your friends have been trying to get you to try the 30-day no contact rule, or telling you to “just stop texting [them]!” but that’s honestly causing you a lot more grief than you’d hoped for in an already overwhelming time in your life. With me, we’ll work on digging deep and starting from a place within, as opposed to trying to control your behaviour; behaviours are just symptoms of the deeper driver. Let’s explore what feels right for you, and not just what your friends say you “should” do. (What a relief!)
Actually learn to love yourself, and not just keep “self-love” a buzzword in your vocabulary. Before going through my breakup, I used to think “self-love” was a woo-woo term or something for conceited people; now I see that we’ve been conditioned as a society as a way to keep us from tapping into actually enjoying who we actually are and reaching our true potential. I want to show you how self-love isn’t woo-woo at all—nor is it just a list of self-care activities—and make it a relationship you nurture for the rest of your life.
Let go of your limiting beliefs about yourself and relationships. “Guys only like thin girls” or “I need to be successful in order to find a wife” are only 2 of the HUNDREDS of lies society is feeding us as truths; and I believed them unconsciously for so long. This process involves uncovering what beliefs you’ve been wearing like tinted sunglasses that you don’t even realize, and discovering how they’ve been holding you back from living your potential and finding true love. This stuff is incredibly transformational.
Uncover your needs. You might be over there thinking you’ve got 5 or so main needs, but let me tell you that you have many, MANY more, you just haven’t been conditioned to acknowledge and move through the world demanding them (especially for women). Together, we get crystal clear about what they are using unique exercises I’ve created. You’ll learn to not only walk away from people who don’t meet your needs more quickly, but you’ll attract those willing and able to meet them with certainty. Curious about what some of our needs are? Check out this list right here.
Never settle for less than you demand. How many times have you heard “you need to realistic when it comes to dating and relationships!” Well, I’m here to tell you that THAT’S a limiting belief in many cases! Yep, because it suggests that being “realistic” means you can’t get everything that’s important to you, and that is no way to be in a relationship. I used to hear that for years, but eventually I realized that being realistic was keeping me freaking miserable in the wrong relationships, so I had nothing to lose by getting crystal clear and patiently waiting for that ideal partner. And what do you know? He’s now my fiancé. I’m here to teach you, once again, to let go of those limiting beliefs and be discerning about what is true, and what’s true for you.
Nurture your emotional body. Despite the growing awareness around self-care and emotional health, I’ve learned that most of us still have a hot-and-cold relationship with our own emotions. Our time together is about letting yourself feel how you feel, and being in tune with your emotional self. When you let your emotions be seen and heard, you empower others to heal as well.
Strengthen your faith and trust in the process of life. One of the big questions I get asked as a conscious breakup coach is, “what should I do: get back with my ex or just move on?” or some question that is “this” or “that.” This stems from feeling unsafe and has the false illusion that making a decision will somehow make you feel better or safe. But with spiritual work, you start to feel safe in the zone of uncertainty because you begin to trust everything is unfolding in a mysterious, and not-so-scary way anymore.
Rediscover who you are. I literally thought I was what I did work-wise before I started to do conscious inner work. My breakup cracked me wide open and let me see that I was so much more. I was only conditioned (yep, running theme here!) to see myself as what I did, wore, looked like, and presented as. But because of how my breakup affected my work and how I saw things, it was like lifting a veil to seeing I’m so much more than how I’ve been living. Together, we uncover the deep-rooted conditioning what’s limited you in how you think about yourself, and create room to help you access who you are from a soul perspective.
Live a life of gratitude. What I learned by doing conscious work is that what you focus on expands. If you’re having a crappy day, and you shift your thoughts from scarcity and lack, to appreciating what you do have—now that is a miracle. My clients often come to me hoping to feel hopeful, but they leave living a life of gratitude not just for what they have or how they feel, but for the daily lessons they learn because of how they see the world now.
Enhance your relationships to friends and family. One of the biggest side effects (I mean benefits) of coaching with me is that you actually learn to cherish the people in your life more. At least, this is what my clients tell me. They feel more grateful and appreciative because they’ve got someone to hold space for them, and they’re not starving for support from friends who might be busy. Plus, there’s something that happens that we don’t expect when going through a breakup: some people no longer stay in it. Doing inner work helps you to see that sometimes—not just with ex partners—people need to leave our lives in order for us to make space for better things to come along.
Be unapologetic for who you are. If you’re worried they broke up with you because you had anxiety, or talked too much, or you wanted to spend more time together—then they weren’t for you. I want to help you get out of the mindset that being you is what messed up the relationship. Yeah, we all could work on ourselves more, but you’re not responsible for everything that happened in the relationship. More on that as we dive deeper together.
Learn to speak your Truth. One of the biggest themes my clients experience is being afraid to do or say the wrong thing in their last relationships, or feeling like if they hadn’t said or done something then they’d still be together somehow. While this is totally normal to feel after a relationship ends, the reality is many of us actually exist in our relationships always walking on proverbial eggshells in fear of making a mistake. Together, I want to help you let go of those fears so you can feel lighter and know that it’s safe to speak up. True intimacy isn’t built on being a “good girl” or “good boy” or not rocking the proverbial boat.
Discover the power of mindfulness. I felt called in September 2020 to start a meditation channel and I’ve got some really awesome beginner guided meditations to help you heal through your heartbreak. From forgiving your ex, to releasing attachments to your ex, to embrace new beginnings—I’ve got you covered. In our sessions I’ll do healing meditations depending on the day and what comes up.
Learn how to manifest a dream partner. I met my fiancé using the powers of manifestation (and I talk about in one of my top most read articles here), but it can be tricky to reprogram your mind that you can call in a partner when we’ve been so conditioned to be something other than we are. This is why I offer speciality sessions to discuss this but feel free to read my article first. If this is calling you, inquire about a session here.
You’ve probably noticed this article doesn’t have a lot of strategy, list of self-care activities, or tools or how-tos, and that’s because deep inner work is personal.
There is no one-size-fits-all, or that going no contact is magically going to change your life.
It’s a process, and a super messy one but with huge soul benefits.
If you’re feeling called to work 1:1, book your first session with me here.
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For access to my FREE resources, check out:
My meditation channel with new healing meditations every single week
Full blog with dozens of videos, meditations, podcasts on every question you can think of!
Join the Conscious Breakup Collective on Facebook for women!
Follow my 15+ hour breakup playlist for a GOOD emotional release!
Hey there, I’m Nancy! I’m a Conscious Breakup Coach dedicated to giving you conscious breakup advice during, well—one of the hardest times of your life. Let me know if this blog resonated for you by leaving a comment!