The #1 Thing Anxiously-Attached Women Need MOST During a Breakup
Brought to you by my 16-day email series for heart-broken and anxiously-attached women
Somewhere between the emotional rollercoaster you’re on, and the personal development era you’ve entered, you need things that you might not even be AWARE of.
So as an anxiously-attached girlie myself, I can tell you that there’s probably stuff you’ll be wishing or you wished you heard and knew earlier when your relationship ended.
And today, I’m going to tell you what that is so you can carry it with you whenever you find yourself wondering how to feel better.
Let me write to you what I wished someone had told me Day 1 of my breakup:
You need to give yourself more grave and more compassion above all else.
There will be a time and place where friends and family simply cannot be your main source of comfort. And so, you’ll be called up to give it to yourself. Fully. Whole-heartedly. Unapologetically.
How? You might wonder.
By reminding yourself that it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since the breakup, or how “easy” it should be to get over someone “like them,” — you’re going through such a painful breakup, and you’re not only dealing with the main source of hurt, but also secondary things happening (friends are annoyed at you, you’re not focused at work/school, and you’ve lost your joie de vivre and haven’t felt like yourself in a long time).
You’re going through such a big transition and growth period right now. SO PLEASE—be gentle with yourself.
You don’t need more tough love, or “advice.” What you need is someone to listen to you. Let you have your OWN experience and feelings, even if it’s not what you wished you were feeling. Even if it doesn’t sound good.
Even if it’s taking longer than what you (arbitrarily) think you think it should.
Let it be what it is.
Let yourself be carried. Don’t hold all of this in yourself.
Stop trying to “fix” yourself in order to be loved. You’re already so loveable. You’ve just been putting a crazy amount of pressure on yourself to heal. But you might lose sight and think the point of healing is to be “fixed” and better so someone will love you.
And then you will be lovingly redirected to remember that you were never broken in the first place. You have always been enough and worthy, and that this new chapter is about remembering that and living it.
I hope this resonated for you.
For other messages and guidance like this, you’re welcome to check out my 16-day series for anxiously-attached and heartbroken women HERE.
xo
Nancy, conscious breakup coach
