How to Meditate as a Beginner (And Yes You Can Meditate Your Way Through Your Breakup!)
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Are you fairly new to meditation but you’re worried you’re doing it “wrong?” then this episode is for you.
For those of you who have been following the blog and podcast for a while, you’ve likely been using my Meditations By Nancy Youtube Channel as part of your daily routine.
That said, I’ve had several people reach out sharing that they love the guided meditations, but are so new to meditation that they’re feeling intimidated by the practice and want to know the “right” things to do.
This episode is about my own personal practice and what helps ME. Everyone has their own way of meditating and I’m sure this will be just one piece of your journey. I want to make meditation and taking a moment of pause to be a digestible concept and practice, and help you build the habit so you can live a more mindful life.
You’ll hear in this episode:
how long you “should” meditate as a beginner
where and how to meditate (is lying down bad?)
what “focusing on your breath” really means
how to get out of your head using the 5 senses (plus you’ll get my free meditation below!)
And if you haven’t already, join the Conscious Breakup Collective on FACEBOOK and be a part of a group of others healing from a breakup and get what you’re going through
THIS WEEK’S GUIDED MEDITATION USING THE 5 SENSES BELOW
FOR A DEEPER READ INTO MEDITATION
Meditation (in general + with regards to your breakup) has many benefits including:
uncovering a new perspective
feeling calmer and more at peace with your circumstance
reducing stress and anxiety
Being present instead of in your head
increased focus and concentration (reducing mind wandering back to thoughts of your ex)
How to meditate if you’re a beginner:
Meditation can seem intimidating if you’re just starting out, and I’ve personally only been doing it for less than 2 years. That might seem a lot if you’ve never meditated before, but this process isn’t just about sitting down for an hour a day and feeling enlightened. (I mean, pro-meditators might feel that but there are plenty of benefits even as a beginner.)
But the truth is, just giving yourself time to hit pause and relax will go a long way. Forget the intimidation of meditation. Just choosing to say “I’m giving myself 10 minutes of me-time” is a powerful decision.
While most meditation experts suggest sitting up straight on the ground, you can get into the swing of things just by lying down and breathing deeply. It’s more important to get started and build the habit than worrying doing things perfectly from the beginning (which leads to procrastination and delay).
What to be aware of when you first start:
The moment you sit down, it’s normal to notice your thoughts more than when you were walking around. That’s normal, expected, and part of the process. You’re actually always thinking and always hearing a little voice narrating your experience. Read the Untethered Soul if this concept peaks your interest. I realized this narration was always around, but only some times I would notice it. Meditation helps me to see the quality of my thoughts, and all I have to do is observe them.
While you might think you’re supposed to do this, try not to “push” your thoughts out (which is what many of us think meditation is); meditation is actually about observing your thoughts without judgment. “Without judgment” means to avoid labeling a thought as good or bad, or that it should or shouldn’t be happening. You probably notice you sort of constantly do that—we all do! Meditation is a great time to let go of the wheel and take a break from the analysis.
(Oh, and don’t listen to meditation while driving, because then you might actually let go of the wheel and we do not want that.)
Andy from the Headspace app taught me that whenever we notice a thought, we just say in our heads “thought” and when we feel a feeling and notice it, we just say in our heads “feeing.”
This really helped me be the observer of my experience and avoid any judgment I was making while in meditation.
Alright, let’s begin
Get in a comfortable seat and try breathing using the 4-7-8 method. Basically, you breath in for 4, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. Just try a few rounds and see if you can start to feel that calmness.
In the beginning, it’ll feel a little weird actively breathing because it’s not really something we think about. I like to think of my tummy expanding as I inhale, and as I exhale, I feel I’m pushing down my breath into the ground.
As you get into the swing of things, you’ll start to create a nice rhythm that works for you. Maybe it happens today, maybe it happens tomorrow. The important thing is that you’re getting started and that’s AMAZING.
What exactly should I look for after meditating?
The immediate benefits depend on the person, but for me, I feel a sense of inner quiet, which feels like I don’t notice my thoughts as much as before.
Things feel calmer. I feel like I’m the only person in the room.
Many times, later in the day, I end up feeling a burst of clarity and can create what would normally take me hours of work and cram it into 30 minutes because I’ve reached a flow state. The immediate benefits sometimes come a few hours.
Your experience might be different; meditation is really a practice meant to build up over time, not so much a short term fix or solution.
If you don’t feel the instant benefits, you might notice you feel calmer tonight, or you sleep better. The best thing to do is let the benefits unfold without forcing a benefit.
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