Are You Trying to Move ON or Move FORWARD After Your Breakup?
When I was going through my last serious breakup, I spent a lot of time trying to “move on.”
I also spent a lot of time asking others how to move on; how to know when I’m ready to move on.
So much about “moving on” from my last relationship.
And many people in my Conscious Breakup Collective FB group are wondering the same question.
So today I’m inviting a bit of a different perspective that I think you might be enlightened by—but you tell me.
It’s the difference between moving on and moving forward. This is truly my own take that I hope can allow a shift in mindset and thinking.
Q
What’s the difference between moving on and moving forward?
A
When I’m working with someone, and the conversation around moving on comes up, it comes up in a very cut-and-dry way. Like the only options after a breakup are to move on completely, or hold out in hopes that your ex will return.
It’s all about the undertone of the words “moving on.” The undertone, for me in my experience, is that it’s a way to shut out the noise or feelings of what you’re going through during your breakup; like you’re resisting the messages meant to find you during your breakup to help you heal.
Notice that those words are often phrased like:
how do I move on already?!!?
Why can’t I just move on?
Should I just move on or what????
In contrast, moving forward feels so much more aligned, lighter, and patient (with yourself), and self-compassionate.
Like taking courageous, baby steps in a healthy direction; allowing for all the healing, curveballs, and hurdles to continue to teach you exactly what you’re here to learn. Moving forward feels like an invitation to heal today and right now.
Q
Is there really a big difference in saying moving on and moving forward?
A
It depends on how you interpret it; but let me share where I think the distinction is; if you’re asking me how to move on, that feels incredibly genetic as a question. (Have you ever asked that question and whoever you’re talking to responds with “you need to learn to love yourself” or “just stop thinking about them!” and somehow you never feel even more lost than before you asked the question? Yeah, me too.)
But if you ask me how you can begin to move forward today, I’d be able to give you a more concrete response. Like doing one act of self-care today for yourself, or inviting you to do a cord-cutting meditation, or inviting you to do a ritual that embraces celebrating your decision to move forward one day at a time.
If you’ve been feeling stuck to move on, then try moving forward; allow yourself to experience your breakup one day at a time with self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself. This is a process where baby steps are welcome and part of the journey.
I hope this served you today <3
Nancy
Conscious Breakup Coach
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