Okay, so you’ve been on the #strugglebus since your breakup, and to some extent, it feels warm and comforting to stay in touch with your ex.

Or maybe there’s a whole host of reasons you’re still in touch:

• You’re worried how they’re doing (if you ended things and you’re concerned for their emotional health)

• You broke up mutually but feel the comfort of knowing you’re both in this together

• The reason you broke up was out of your control (moved cities, starting new school or career in different country)

• You know you two should be broken up but you don’t have anything else really going for you at the moment

And so much more, but regardless of why you broke up, this article will still address why you need to stop texting your ex for your own sake.

As a conscious breakup coach, I believe in getting to the root of things and having a strong level of compassion for what we go through when a significant relationship ends.

You won’t hear me say “JUST STOP TEXTING THEM IT’S THAT SIMPLE” because it’s not.

Breakups are hard. They’re complicated and confusing. And they’re messy.

Right now, you might be in that “messy” phase.

You know you two are meant to be broken up, but it sucks and you don’t want to stop talking to them.

And so every once in a while, we just need that reminder of how our actions today shape our life tomorrow.

How finding some clarity today can keep us in good momentum for tomorrow.

So here’s the deal: right now, it might seem harmless to still be in touch with your ex, texting them or seeing them once in a while (or every other day…) since it’s tough to disconnect and just move on.

I get it.

But did you know you have energetic cords attached to your ex?

When you continue to see them, you strengthen that bond, which might initially sound like a good thing, but it’s actually not when you both know (deep down) it’s not meant to be.

This only makes moving on HARDER.

It means you continue to keep them in your energetic, emotional, mental and physical body.

When you see or text them and keep ties, you literally…keep ties.

And what does this mean?

No room for yourself and your own personal development in this time.

It also means no space clearing for someone new, not that you’re fully ready for that, I know.

So in that regard you might think it’s harmless that today at 9:30pm, you’re just casually texting and casually inviting them or yourself over, but truthfully, you’re energetically making it harder for you to move on.

That’ why the 30-day no contact rule is constantly being talked about as a healthy way to start the healing process because you need to disconnect.

READ: Does the 30-Day No Contact Rule Work?

And there’s a lot of science to detaching from your ex in terms of not talking or seeing them, but I won’t get into that today.

But think of this practically: how can you move on when you’re still connected to the very thing you’re trying to move on from?

It’s like saying you’re moving homes but continue to stay in your last apartment when you’ve given up the lease.

I think if you’re reading this, and you’ve gotten this far, you know deep down you need to move on, even though it’s scary.

*Queue the tears *

Yeah, it is scary. You’re leaving something that you had with someone for the unknown.

You’re getting out of your comfortable bubble, even if that bubble wasn’t serving you, which is why things ended.

I get it.

But taking the step today to decide that even though it’s hard, it’s what’s in your best interest, and in the best interest of your ex.

Both of you need time apart.

You need time to heal.

Trying to hold onto that connection that’s already hanging by a thread is only prolonging the inevitable.

And it only keeps you in this state of confusion.

I know you desperately want to heal.

And you are so resilient and capable, and you’ve been through hard times in the past that you overcame and thrived through.

Right?

I truly believe when the Universe calls us to tough moments, incredible things lie ahead.

Choosing today to give yourself permission to heal, to grow, and to give yourself a better tomorrow is the greatest gift you could ever give yourself.

I know you’re ready.

Love,

Nancy Ruth Deen, Conscious Breakup Coach & Certified Breathwork Teacher

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If you’re looking for a fresh start today, I’ve created one of the most unique healing programs in the world, my 21-Day Meditation Journey to Heal Yourself During Your Breakup. If you want daily guidance and deep healing to transform yourself in this time, check out my program details here.