Seriously, What's it Going to Take to Manifest My Dream Guy?
The title of this article is extremely fitting because I used to ask this exact question.
Whether you’re new to the idea of manifesting, or you’ve been trying to manifest your dream guy with no luck—my friend I’ve got your back.
In February 2020 I wrote this article literally a day after my now-husband and I went ring shopping for * gasp * my dream ring!
Yes. It’s beautiful and I’m so incredibly blessed.
But let me tell ya there was once a time (pretty much every day before March 9th, 2018) that I so desperately wanted to learn HOW to manifest a partner.
But I had the absolute worst “luck” in relationships.
Because before I met my husband, I was kinda-sorta dating this guy who was a friend first, and that went south real fast. It wasn’t my proudest moment.
And before that, I had a series of relationships that lasted 2 weeks that seemed promising on dates one and two, and ended with the guy saying he wanted to “slow down” which we all know what that’s code for, ladies.
Their loss. After all, who doesn’t want a piece of dis. (Never again, Nancy. Never again.)
So, I kind of went on a little relationship-seeking hiatus and was determined to manifest my dream husband instead of just hopping on the apps trying to “make it happen.”
I wanted to learn the tricks of trade, and use the power of the Universe instead of constantly dating.
Within a few weeks…guess what? My wonderful husband Michael appeared one night when I—brace yourself—was LEAST expecting it.
So all this to say that if I CAN DO THIS you ABSOLUTELY can TOO. (And I created an in-depth step-by-step program to help you do it in 10 days.)
So today I’m sharing 4 things I know will 10000% help you on your journey. So grab a coffee and keep reading.
My husband and I on our way to Niagara Falls in Canada July 2022!
(By the way, I’m sitting on my couch as we are gearing up to move from Seattle into our new home in Bend Oregon and I am feeling all the vibes right now. Could also be the 70% cacao chocolate I ate an hour ago too.)
1.You’ve got to literally stop settling for things you know you shouldn’t settle for.
Girl, I’m serious. I see you over there trying to tell yourself that you’ll keep “casually” seeing/texting/thinking about/talking about/fantasizing over that guy who barely gives you the time of day WHILE waiting for your dream guy to show up.
Uh, it doesn’t work that way and here’s why: you’re sending out energy that says you’re not looking for the real deal.
But dont get me wrong—you’re so worth the real deal it’s not even funny—but if you are currently seeing guys who you know aren’t good for you or barely reply more than 3 words to you when you text them—you’re sending out energy into the Universe that that’s what you want.
We attract not what we want but what we allow into our lives.
Remember that: we attract what we allow, not what we want.
So, you’re going to have to * gasp * cut ties with the dudes in your life who don’t match your dream partner because manifesting your dream partner is about the energy you put out into the Universe. And that energy is governed by what you say yes and no to.
When you say NO to the dudes who you know you are settling for—you send a POWERFUL YES into the Universe for who you DO want.
Get excited about this—it’s time to clear the clutter of dudes who are just wasted space in your mind, energy and heart.
2.Be UNAPOLOGETIC about what you DO want in a relationship despite what your friends say
I know you’ve got friends (some married even) who tell you that you need to settle.
*Cringe*
Fortunately, you’ve got me who’s here to tell you NOT to.
You are your own unique person with a different set of needs and wants and lifestyle than your friends and family have attracted. But you need to be unapologetic about who you intuitively have in mind as a life partner.
I was often told to settle and want less and even * ugh * to stop being so needy and demanding.
But that’s not what I was doing. I was simply setting a particular standard of the kind of guy I wanted in my life.
And when I decided to follow step #1, things got so much clearer for me and I was able to actually focus on the kind of guy I wanted in my life without muddying the vision I had.
So, my dear friend reading this, let this be your permission slip to not settle.
3.Know that the Universe is your matchmaker
Another BIG thing I teach in The Conscious Way, my 10-day program to help you call in the person of your dreams, is that the Universe is your matchmaker.
You’re not on this journey alone, and it’s not by “chance” if you fall on top of your dream guy.
The Universe is actively working in your favor to help you find your person.
The thing is though—you’ve got to be so aware of this that you don’t slip in the traps like I mentioned in steps 1 and 2.
Don’t think you’re here alone and that it’s all up to you and how many online dates you can squeeze in in one single week.
You’ve got to trust the Universe and it’s plan for you.
Cause if you don’t—guess what? You’ll become so burnt out with dating on the apps (whoops! too late, I know) and be THIS CLOSE to calling it quits and making a pact with your best guy friend that if you’re both 50 and single you’ll get married.
What I learned to do on my journey is actually work WITH the Universe by trusting it’s process and plan. But this is also an every day thing for me because when I start to use my head to problem solve, I end up going in circles and doing a lot of stuff I really didn’t need to simply because I wasn’t patient and trusting the process.
Wouldn’t it be just so much better if you could learn HOW the Universe works when it comes to manifesting your dream partner instead of all the trial-and-error and fear that it’s not going to happen for you?
Why yes, yes it would.
So stop settling, let yourself want who you actually want, and let the Universe show you who to date.
4.Seriously, just be yourself.
Whether you’ve got kids, been divorced before, don’t live in your favorite neighbourhood or don’t have your dream job yet—I need you to do one thing for me.
I need you to give yourself permission to be where you’re at IN THIS MOMENT. Okay?
You and I both know those kids are the reason you know God is real and they’re the best thing that ever happened to you.
I know you maybe don’t live in your dream neighbourhood or have your perfect job but guess what—that’s where YOU’RE AT and you love the coffee shops nearby and that you have an income that pays for where you live.
Amazing.
Let me tell you—when I met my husband, I was living in a one-bedroom apartment with a roommate, had a job that paid like 35K a year and my husband made almost 3x that and owned his condo.
And for a long time, I’d hear and believe that you needed to be in a “perfect spot” in life to actually find someone…so I pretended about a lot of things to kind of “fake it til I made it.”
And that was the most inauthentic thing I could do which is honestly why it didn’t work out with so many guys I was dating.
I wasn’t being myself. And a major part of being yourself is allowing yourself to be where you are in life right now—even if it’s not where you want to stay.
What I learned by meeting my husband and through my self-love journey (and self-love is a big part of The Conscious Way program is that YOU—before ANYONE—must be okay that you have what you have right now.
Maybe it’s not much. But it’s still freaking awesome.
And—you are NOT your neighbourhood, your income, your job title—you are YOU and the Universe wants to help you find someone who meets you where YOU’RE AT.
Not the other way around.
Stop letting the false narrative of society tell you that you’ve got too much baggage or don’t have it all together enough to find a partner and that you should wait til you have a picture-perfect lifestyle.
No—you’re feeling called NOW to find that person because you DESERVE it and that’s got absolutely nothing to do with your current circumstance.
One of my big motivators for creating The Conscious Way is because I wanted to document what I did that kind of went against what people tell you to do and be like in society. And I say that because I was also a former professional matchmaker who used to give out the WORST dating advice. So I know what society is feeding us all—and it’s all wrong.
I also wanted to show you that if I could literally go from brutal relationship to brutal relationship and still end up with my dream partner then you can too.
I am not different than you.
I am your reflection. And today, you’re staring in the mirror and all you see is that you have always been worthy of the person you have in mind—you just need a little roadmap to get there.
I hope this article is exactly what you needed to read today <3
xo
Nancy
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What’s next?
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Thank you so much for making time to care for yourself today. Let this article sink in and feel free to return to it whenever you need it. And join the conscious breakup collective if you haven’t already where I give conscious breakup advice & go live!
Hey there, I’m Nancy! I’m a Conscious Breakup Coach dedicated to giving you conscious breakup advice during, well—one of the hardest times of your life. Let me know if this blog resonated for you by leaving a comment!