Is It Bad If I Still Love My Ex After All They’ve Done? (Q&A With Breakup Coach)
A powerful battle I think many of us face while going through a breakup is the idea that our minds and hearts should be aligned.
Especially if our exes betrayed us or hurt us in some way.
As a breakup coach, I want to address this sensitive topic. Please take what resonates and leave the rest.
Firstly, it’s not bad. My clients often say “is it bad?” and I think no, it’s not.
Ultimately, we feel how we feel.
But they’re saying it as if they need to reconfigure how they feel to match the crime (so to speak) that their ex did.
“If you cheated, I should hate you,” but yet they still love them.
It’s because you still have an attachment to your ex.
We actually have energetic attachments to people we date, friends, and family, and even clients.
And in many cases, we try to force ourselves to stop thinking about them, or shame ourselves into doing so. No one is really showing us any other way to do this.
And it’s not super effective, at least not in my experience.
Time can help, but I also feel it’s what we do with our time…and how willing we are of seeking creative solutions.
So, let’s see things a little deeper today.
I actually created a cord-cutting mediation to help you sever that tie you have to your ex through meditation. It sounds a little woo-woo (even I can get on board with that) but it works.
If you’re obsessing over your ex, or consumed by fantasies of your ex in some way, cord cutting is the way to go.
This was taken when I first released this meditation and my Facebook members (names and details blacked-out for privacy). See their experience using it.
Hey, don’t knock it til you try it (4 times is pretty darn great!)
Instead of bashing yourself for “always” thinking of your ex, try this technique. This meditation can help you release the attachment that has you either seeing your ex on a pedestal, or hurt or angry.
See how you feel after you try it, and see if your mind and heart begin to align.
And don’t forget that when we go through a breakup, we tend to romanticize our partners as a way for our brains to reconnect us for survival reasons (this is going on subconsciously of course). We get confused cause we think “why do I want to be with them when they don’t love me anymore” and it’s because our survival instincts are kicking into high gear and feeling a certain level of withdrawal.
So you’re not actually experiencing feelings of true love, but those of instinct and survival.
Fascinating, huh?
Okay, so, bottom line is that if you want to stop living in the past about your ex and want to start moving forward, cut that energetic cord with them in this meditation below.
And be sure to comment in the video and let me know how it serves you today!
Want to get connected with other people going through a breakup? Then join the Conscious Breakup Collective on Facebook.
Book your first breakup coaching session with me here.
Hey there, I’m Nancy! I’m a Conscious Breakup Coach dedicated to giving you conscious breakup advice during, well—one of the hardest times of your life. Let me know if this blog resonated for you by leaving a comment!
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