Nancy Ruth Deen | Breakup Coach For Anxiously Attached Women

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How I Manifested the Man of My Dreams (And How You Can Too)

This article is brought to you by my 10-day manifest your dream partner course. Details here.

BRACE YOURSELF—You’re about to get ALL the deets including our engagement & wedding details in this article!

Just yesterday (this article was originally written back in February 2020), my boyfriend and I picked out my dream engagement ring. (side note: October 2021 update—we planned our wedding in 36 hours and tied the knot at a friend’s pumpkin patch! September 2022 update: moved into our first house together!)

Yes, the ring I always dreamed of having but never thought the day would come that it would land on my finger.

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Naturally, I had to pick up my laptop and share the true power of manifestation. It was articles just like these ones that inspired me to strive for what I truly desired in a relationship, and today—I’m sharing my path with you. 

As a breakup coach & manifesting mentor, I help people not only move on from a relationship, but manifest love that lasts and is what they intuitively have in mind.

By the way, never in a million years did I think I could land the man that I always dreamed of: fiercely loyal; loving; loves me for me; and is totally cute.

I’m serious. there were MANY times in my life where I was literally bracing myself for just being happy for others and finding happiness through living vicariously through friends.

But…the Universe had other plans. And it does for you TOO.

If you’ve opened this article, and are reading these words, chances are that you’re READY to manifest your dream partner, but haven’t exactly had success.

Until now.

PS. While you’re here, consider joining my Manifest Your Dream Partner facebook group where I go live and share my best tips to help you find your soulmate.

In this lengthy article (that’s your cue to grab a coffee), I’m going to teach you step-by-step how I personally manifested my dream guy so that you can start calling your dream person in right now. In fact, I’m going to reveal how you’re doing it just by reading this article. 

WATCH: How I Manifested a SECURE Relationship as Someone With An Anxious Attachment Style (And How You Can Too)

Surprisingly, it’s a fun, silly, and awesomely-powerful experience to manifest your partner. 

Whatever your dating history is, or even if you’re using your breakup as a way to start manifesting the person you deserve, I’ll share how I applied simple techniques to bring my dream guy into my life. 

And, of course I’ll share some fun stories and analogies along the way. 

Let’s dive in. 

Step 1: Know you deserve your dream partner

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When you know what you truly deserve, the Universe will give you someone who will reflect that back to you.

This was a game-changing concept for me.

Did you know that at all times, your self-worth is attracting certain people into your life? 

Simply put, if you are recently broken up with someone who didn’t treat you right, or did you wrong in some way, it’s because — at an unconscious level — you feel you don’t deserve someone who loves you unconditionally and is ready to commit.

Before you get mad at me, here’s how these unconscious thoughts played out for me personally:

I used to date men who would constantly reveal that they weren’t ready to commit, or weren’t right for me. But I just stuck it out because on a deep level, I didn’t believe I deserved to be truly loved and cared for the way I intuitively wanted to be.

I didn’t really know HOW to change this, either. But then I started reading articles like these where the dots starting to connect. 

I was aware of what I wanted in a relationship (someone to spend weekends with, who introduced me to their friends and loved ones) but somehow that’s not what I was attracting. 

I wasn’t addressing the fact that I deserved that person I knew in my heart. 

Truth be told, I was denying myself of the person I was meant to attract by letting my fears get the best of me. The fears that said I wasn’t “good enough” for the man of my dreams. 

So today, I’m sharing that if you want to manifest the person of your dreams, you need to know that you deserve to be loved the way you feel it in your soul.

You deserve to have a life full of love and joy.

You deserve a person who spoils you with love and gifts (if gifts are what you like!)

You deserve it all.

If you grew up modestly like me, then that’s not going to be your natural default thinking, but as of today — you’re going to do your darnedest to make it that way from now on. This is the #1 tip to manifesting. You need to believe it.

I had to walk around like I deserved someone freaking legit. If I don’t believe it, how the heck will the man of my dreams believe it?

So today, recite the line I deserve the love I want.

Recite in in your head all day.

Recite it to your neighbour as you leave your apartment.

Recite it to the person standing up next to you on the subway on the way to work who also has their headphones in. Let them know: I deserve the love I want. 

Who knows —most likely, they probably need to hear that for themselves.

(Who cares if they give you cut-eye, or walk away awkwardly cause you’re freaking READY to manifest the love of your life.)


Step 2: If you can think it, you can have it

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If you can intuitively see the man you want to date, but haven’t met him yet, you can absolutely call him into your life.

But you need to do one important thing: 

STOP listening to people who tell you that “men aren’t like that” or “you need to be realistic” when it comes to finding someone you want in your life.

Let’s be real…everywhere we turn that’s what we’re hearing.

All those words mean is that those people just didn’t attract their dream partner, and that’s okay. You’re on a different path.

Of course if you’re spending time with people just trying to get by, or constantly have issues in their relationships, their judgments about your love life are going to be seriously skewed. Right?

Solution: Spend time with people who did attract their dream partners, and take in their energy for inspiration and motivation. 

Thank you for reading this article and learning about someone who HAS found their dream person, and is encouraging you to see that it’s ABSOLUTELY, 100% possible (and coming) for you.

I look at my relationship; it feels surreal and totally like a romantic comedy. When I hear people say that rom-com love isn’t legit, or “that’s not how love happens” all it means is that their love didn’t happen like that. At this point I sound like a broken record. 

For me, that’s what I wanted. That’s what I’d focus on attracting. It wasn’t about figuring out what’s “realistic” cause what I see now is that that’s just a label people use to stop you from achieving what you want and deserve.

I truly believed men who were loving, kind, smart, and totally adorable were real, just like in the movies. Now, I just needed to wait to find them.

True story how rom-coms for legit real: 

I remember LOVING Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock in The Proposal, thinking, “this movie is so me.” If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a Canadian (Bullock) and how she blackmails her American assistant (Reynolds) into getting married so she can stay in the country after her visa unexpectedly expires. They end up falling head over heels at the end. (Woops, spoiler alert.) 

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This movie moved me. I felt myself being all “that’s what I want!”

And then it showed up in my life one random night at a Casino in Vancouver, BC. An American who—2 years later—would be filing for a fiance visa for me to move to the US to be together. 

If you can think it, it’s yours. But you need to believe it (Step 1), and and start thinking that it’s truly real (Step 2).

Right now, think about all the false information (disguised as being “realistic” AKA limiting beliefs) you’ve been fed from people in your life (mom, dad — I love you, but your advice wasn’t always resonant for me), and take what resonates, and LEAVE THE REST.

My fiance and I July 2021 during our engagement shoot in Seattle, Washington.

But really — leave most of it.

You want to make room for the new, fresh perspective on dating, and that means decluttering your beliefs about relationships.

Think of your relationship beliefs like a closet: it’s full of stuff that (likely) doesn’t fit you right, and makes you feel kind of blah. But, until now, you kept it, just in case. You’ve got some winning pieces, but the majority just isn’t working for you. And because most of it just isn’t fitting you the way you deserve, it’s ruining your entire look and presence.

And yes, maybe I did just totally clean out my wardrobe and that’s why I’m making up this analogy. 

The point is, your relationship beliefs are likely a lot like those back-of-the-closet, just-in-case pieces that honestly do ZIP for you.

Clean out your beliefs just like you need to clean out your closet.

Those old beliefs about relationships need to be thrown in the trash.

I’ve got a great exercise for you to do in Step 3.



Step 3: Get specific and creative

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In early 2018, I got really creative and started telling my network that I was doing a Find-Me-A-Husband Campaign. I would email, call, and text people to send out good vibes to the Universe, and let others know that my intentions were real. Honestly, this was such a hilarious and fun way to show my willingness to find me a husband. I had no idea where this husband would be, so I just declared it wherever I went.

There’s the key to step 3: you need to have fun in your process, and part of that is letting yourself be uber-creative. The Universe wants to see you having fun doing what you’re called to do (and guess what? That actually speeds up the process.)

Don’t believe being silly and legit can go hand-in-hand? I have emails of me describing this man to my executive chairman for a foundation I volunteered for. I kid you not, I got so specific…and the Universe delivered.

But I got specific about was what I intuitively wanted. The key is to use your intuition, and not what you “think” you need—and not what you’re been told to want.

Intuitively, I knew I wanted an American guy (and I’m Canadian as you’ve already read) and I knew he’d be around my age, have a degree, be his own person, and have a loving family you see in the movies.

Check, check, check and check.

(And I didn’t have any of those things before, so it’s not like I was basing that out of previous experience.)

I just felt like that would be my guy, and I felt like that just because I was drawn to it, and not for any particular reason. (I’ll share more about this in my last step.)

Did I know my manifested man would have better hair than me? No, but the Universe has quite the sense of humour.

Back to you: what do you want in a man intuitively? Again, whenever you hear a voice say, “that doesn’t exist” or any other soul-crushing sentence, tell it to F$#K OFF (Step 2).

You’re manifesting, and it’s mandatory (not optional) to be deserving of what you desire (Step 1).

That’s what I did, and I got what I wanted on my intuitive wish list, and MORE.

Remember, you deserve the person you see in your heart.

But how will you know they’re the one if you don’t let yourself feel what it is you truly want?

A fun exercise to do right now: grab a pen and paper and write down a list of 8–20 things you just really feel make up your dream person. THEN, turn those sentences into statements that start with “thank you Universe for sending me…” and complete the sentence using the list you made. Make a sentence for each item on your list.

Example, if you want a guy with a sexy pair of shoulders (totally my thing!) then you can phrase it as:

“Thank you Universe for sending me my dream guy with jaw-droppingly sexy shoulders.”

Use creative adjectives, and go BIG.

The trick to these affirmations: You can see the statements appears to look like they’ve already happened, which is the exact energy required to call in your dream person. When you believe it’s already happened, the Universe sends them to you in lightning speed.

I’ll talk more on how quick a manifestation really comes into your physical world in the next section.

Step 4: Understand how “timing” works when manifesting

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For me, by the time I created the Find-Me-A-Husband campaign, I was having so much fun calling this person into my life that I trusted that whenever they’d arrive — it would be the perfect timing.

Funny enough, I downloaded Calling in the One: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life on audiobook exactly 7 weeks before I met my current boyfriend/fiance. If y’all are looking for a recommendation, there you go. 

I swear, I can’t make this stuff up. And you’re reading this, so prepare to amaze yourself in your own journey to finding The One.

Not as you would expect, I only read 2.5 chapters, but frankly, just the fact that I explored the idea that I deserved to find the right man for me in 7 weeks showed the Universe my genuine intentions. Even though a part of me was like, “that’s too soon,” another part of me said: I deserve to start calling this in today

Remember, Step 1 is knowing you deserve this. Step 4 is surrendering to the Universe’s time, but also allowing yourself to call things in today — the day you conceive the idea.

Your only job when it comes to time is to put the intention out there today, and prepare to be blown-away by what comes after.

When you get creative and have fun (Step 3) in the process, the Universe responds SO FAST. If you follow the law of attraction (how to attract things into your life using energy) then you know that the #1 thing you need is to feel good in order to attract. Don’t wait to feel good when you get it, feel good now.

What can you do today to feel good about calling in your dream person? Is it watching inspiring Youtube videos of people who found their happily ever after? Is it simply calling up a friend who you absolutely adore and respect their loving relationship?

I mentioned earlier today that the simple fact that you chose to read this article, out of all days, says you’re ready to manifest your dream person starting right now.

You’re already doing it. It’s already happening. And honestly, I can feel how excited you are. That excitement is guidance letting you know that your intentions are being heard, and you are right on track to finding this magical person.

And remember: you didn’t just find this article accidentally; everything is strategically placed in your life at the precise time you need it. Everything.

That’s the power of the Universe.

Step 5: Know the Universe wants you to be happy

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Listen, if there’s one person who knows what it feels like to get discouraged during dating — it’s me.

I dated so many guys, even my grandmother the other day pointed that out. (Bless her heart.)

I had a horrible track record before meeting my dream guy, but that didn’t stop me from deciding that I am being supported in finding him as of right now. (I was always supported, but it was then when I really realized it.)

Ready to manifest your dream partner? Check out my step-by-step course on how to do that here.

Nothing happens by mistake, and sometimes you need to accept that you’ve gone through hell and back in the dating world to find someone who deserves you.

The thing is, we aren’t mean to live a life without challenges; it’s what comes after the challenges that show us why we went through them. 

Why they were necessary for our growth and fulfillment.

So yes, a bad breakup can be the perfect time to rediscover yourself and find what you need in order to love yourself fully, and attract the right partner for you. This is exactly why I became a breakup coach, and why I continue to point my clients to seeing their true worth, and knowing that what happens, happens for us.

The Universe wants us to be happy; and often, you need to sort through the clutter and overcome big challenges to see that.

Trust the process. 

Step 6: Listen to the voice that guides you without reason

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When I met my guy on that random March evening in 2018, I heard a distinct voice inside my head that told me to go talk to “that group of guys” nearby. I didn’t even really see their faces, or think much about them before that moment. But I heard that voice loud and clear. Within minutes, my now-fiance asked for my phone number.

That feeling I can best describe as a pull, nudge, and/or draw. It’s this feeling or sense that has really caught my attention, and intrigues me. 

We all have that voice that tells us to do things without us really knowing why, and it’s up to us to decide follow that. We are so much more than our conscious minds, and it’s fun to see where things lead without having time to overthink them.

We need to do things that we haven’t done to get to places we’ve never been. 

I firmly believe this.

Have you ever suddenly started thinking about someone and then they call you that day? This is the exact same concept. You were either receiving guidance that they were going to call, or you energetically invited them in.

Listen to that voice to which you might reply, “I don’t know why that came into my head,” or, “it’s random I’m thinking this” and get excited. That’s the intuitive wisdom revealing something so powerful for you. 

To refresh, these are the 6 steps I took to manifest the man of my dreams:

  • Believe that you truly deserve to find this person

  • Know that if you’re thinking of this person, they’re absolutely real (and you just need to call them into your life)

  • Be fun about how you call them in, and ignore any fake advice about being “realistic”

  • Know that if you’re wanting to manifest your dream person, you can start doing that today

  • Know the universe is on your side!

  • Listen to your inner voice that tells you to take opportunities your rational mind might stop you from taking

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I sound like a broken record when I say it is no coincidence that you’ve found this article and have read all the way to the end. Trust that you were led here for a reason.

Trust that you’re ready to heal from the disappointments from past relationships; and trust that you are so worthy of the love that your soul craves.

Wanna join my ultimate, all-in-one course to help make your dream relationship happen? Click the button below for FULL details.

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Hey there, I’m Nancy! I’m a Manifesting Mentor dedicated to helping you call in the person of your dreams JUST like I did!

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