Let’s be honest: there’s only about four things you can really do during quarantine to pass the time:

1. Watch youtube videos on how to do a handstand

2. Attempt the perfect gluten-free, paleo-friendly, vegan-alternative banana bread you see on TASTY.com

3. Watch videos on how to redecorate your apartment using top-rated Amazon products and decor

4. Online date

Obviously you’re already nailing 1-3, so I’m only covering #4 today — your new online dating reality.

Now, don’t get too upset because although social distancing is still encouraged (and highly recommended!), you do still have an upside to getting to know someone without meeting them in person. Yes, you must be both up for the challenge—and creative!

We’ll get to that in this article.

As a breakup coach, I help men and women transition into the dating world after a painful and tough breakup. Moving from breakup to dating right now is just another layer to this already-confusing process we humans go through.

So let’s break it down and infuse as much optimism, excitement, and joy as we can. (And heck—it doesn’t hurt at a time like this!)

Here’s my take on the benefits of dating during a pandemic:

You get to exercise delayed gratification

Now, if you’re an avid online dater, you’d probably rather exchange a few messages, and then meet in person ASAP.

But you know those dates where you only accept going on them cause you’re bored, or already have good makeup on, only to show up on the date and realize this person is totally not your type? Yeah, let’s blame Impulse for this quick decision.

Impulse isn’t exactly available to us the way it was before, but likely your impulses have gotten you to do a whole lot of things you regret both in the moment, and later. (Ahem—I won’t go into detail.)

(Sleeping with your ex. Ahem! Sorry, have something stuck in my throat there.)

Delayed gratification is now your new friend.

I know, I know—you’re maybe afraid that if you create a connection through all the zoom calls and Facetime dates, then it’s possible to meet in person only to have zero physical attraction. That’s where my next point comes in.

Enjoy surrendering to the process a little. I know you want that slow build like you see in the movies. This is the way to do it.

You’ll develop and strengthen your emotional bond

Many people I talk to feel like they didn’t create a strong enough connection before getting intimate with a new partner, which sometimes feels like that’s the culprit for those 3-week, hot-and-heavy relationships that end in one of you ghosting each other.

Now, you get to see what it’s like to go old-school and create that bond before meeting in person.

I know what you might be thinking: what if we have this great emotional connection, but what if we meet in person and there’s nothing between us?

In a day and age where you can see someone face to face with Facetime, chances are, you’re not going to get to the date and be repulsed. The longer you get to know that person, and watch them show up for you through simple video chats; your physical attraction and interest most certainly will grow if it’s meant to.

Seeing how people handle conflict and stress early on

This point is inspired by a COSMOPOLITAN article I contributed to in March on dating during the Coronavirus. Everyone is facing a certain hardship right now; so getting to know someone in this time is a great way (looking at the bright side here!) to see how your potential future spouse (if that’s what you want!) will act under the most uncertain time in their lives.

Even for me, I’m learning how my fiance handles outside pressures in this time—and trust me when I tell you it’s both insightful and bringing us together even more than I ever could have thought.

Tough times are always extremely revealing—for better or for worse, as I’m sure you’ve been hearing.

If you both can stay in touch through technology and handle the complex and ever-evolving information of Covid-19, you two are setting yourselves up for success, let me tell ya.

You’ll see clearly who’s truly into you

You know when you’re getting to know someone and the back-and-forth messaging is super good for about 3 days, then they fall off the planet?

Well, you might have said, “we should have met earlier and this wouldn’t have happened!” but in this case, you’ll know who’s actually into you.

The question is: who is deserving of your time and energy, and how do they show this to you when meeting in person isn’t an option?

Do they remember your conversations from 2 weeks ago? Do they send you stuff via mail? Are they texting you throughout the day? There’s no real “excuses” why people can’t spend more time getting to know you right now.

Watch how your potential new partners make time and space for you, and see how they maintain staying in your life when the odds feel “low” due to everything going on.

I promise, if they are willing to stick around now, they’ll be sticking around well after this is all over.

—

If you need relationship guidance right now, I’m offering a special promotion on my single sessions. Visit me here.